Looking for the Good...

Have you ever been in a room filled with others that seem to be looking at all the negative aspects of life, people and circumstance? 

What typically begins to happen to you? 

Well, unfortunately for most, 

we often follow suit and the negative images begin to enter our own minds. 

Can we help others to look for the good and see it? 

Can we separate ourselves from these feelings and thoughts? 

I think yes!!!

I often do a little exercise when I have a group of women together … 
women’s retreats are the perfect setting for this! 
My goal is to help these women focus on the good, to look for the beautiful people they are surrounded with in their lives. 
So…I ask each to share something, at least one thing, they love about their husbands. 
NO husband bashing is allowed! 
(There is a time and a place to discuss things that are unhappy in a marriage, but a group setting is never the place for such a thing.)
 
What I have found time and again is miraculous. 
Even the ladies who felt their husbands were less than desirable or nearly rotten to the core, end up searching their hearts and find things about them that they adore. 
A beautiful thing happens to these ladies and to their marriages…when they return home, a re-kindled love for that man in their life is formed and if they continue to add healthy “logs” to the fire by choosing to seek and find the good things they see in their husbands, soon the love they originally felt for this wonderful man becomes the warm, comfortable place they desire to be. 
AND with all of this, comes a BONUS… 
noticing the change in her, 
he’ll begin tossing in a log or two…
soon that little flame she started becomes a raging fire and the love between them is stronger and better than ever before. 
It really does happen!

Now, I do not wish to say that we should blind ourselves to true issues. 
BUT, I do believe that 
staying in love with your man means you continue to fall in love with him over and over and over 
and this can never happen if you are choosing to continually focus on all the bad or negative or unattractive things he may do.

I could focus on the imperfections of my husband 
OR 
I could choose to look for the beautiful person he is and see all the good he does…
it’s my choice and I will see whatever I am looking for.

Is it REALLY the end of the world if he doesn’t put his socks away? 
Should he really be tortured for the next three months because he did or said something I didn’t like or didn’t agree with? 
Am I going to hold a grudge that forms a giant wall between us because of little things he may or may not do? 
Not if I wish to have a beautiful marriage 
and not if I wish for him to look past my imperfections.

I chose to focus on marriages this month because of our MAN FEAST coming right up…but this is a beautiful exercise to do with all the wonderful people in your world, not just your hubby.

Choose a child, perhaps the one that pulls your strings the very most! 
Focus on seeing every good and desirable thing they do 
AND then let them know you notice just how fabulous they are…
that same beautiful thing will happen with your relationship with your child ~ 
a closeness, a love, an adoration that we desire to have!

During this month of THANKSgiving ~ 
let’s all do our best to look for the good, 
to focus on it and to act on it. 
Our hearts will be bursting with love and abundant joy will bless our homes!

Blessings!

Written as November Presidents Message for The Buzz