Homeschool Conference!!!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

"Humans Are NOTHIN' Like Penguins"

 So during school a couple of days ago, we were doing a little unit study on penguins...after learning that they mate and then stay together for life, I added,  "just like people do", to which my 9 year old son replied, "They're nothing like humans, people split up all the time and penguins stay together."
Thought I'd cry...
but I made sure to let him know that his Daddy and I are stuck together FOREVER!
No splitting up happening around here! Kids are quick is all I have to say...never saw that one comin'!

Well, I have to tell ya this comment has just not left me...It has caused me to actually lose sleep...

Why is it that marriage and family and relationships are so disposable?
Why do people just give up everything they've built and worked on for years?  What drives them to that point? 
What about their children?  Do they think about what the implications will be for all involved? 
What makes a person believe that it is okay to tear apart a family, to separate children and make them live a life that is most undesirable?
Why do we think there is something better out there? 
Or someone better just waiting around the corner? 
Something or someone who is more exciting, more compassionate, more loving, more attentive, more of whatever we feel we are lacking...
(Now, do not get me wrong, I was divorced many years ago, and for very good reasons.  So I do believe that there are times that divorce is the better choice, but I only believe that to be the case where abuse is present or life is truly full of misery!)  Children do not belong in homes that are unstable and unsafe, mothers or wives don't deserve a life full of fear...With all of my heart, I so firmly believe that we were meant to have joy in our lives and Joy cannot be present if Fear resides!

But I cannot say that I believe divorce is appropriate just because things aren't fabulous in your marriage...that's just not a good enough reason!
Marriage goes through highs and lows...one of the low times can certainly be during raising a bunch of little people.  It's demanding work (especially for the mom) and that Momma's cup can get empty real quick...It's hard to go from being wined and dined (so to speak) to living the day in and day out life that becomes ours as we take on marriage and parenthood.  BUT, we chose this life...we may not have known that this choice would be so much work, and at times, so little fun, but again, we did choose this and it is worth sticking out and holding on and giving it all we've got day after blessed day! 

 If you feel like giving up and feel that "Love" really isn't there anymore...well...
I am a firm believer that if you once loved, that you can love again, if you will but only try...
Marriage is work...it takes everything you've got!  Why aren't people willing to give it all they've got?  Why do they give up?  Why are they so easily fooled that something or someone will be better or will make them happier? 

Can someone make us happy?  Is it the responsibility of our spouse to make us happy?  My thoughts on this...NO it is not their responsibility...BUT, I do believe it is their responsibility to do their best to never make us unhappy...
Ultimately our happiness lies within ourselves...No one can take away from that if we do not allow them to and in the same breath, we cannot expect them to replace what is missing...that is up to us!
We, as individuals, are responsible and accountable for our own happiness, for our own attitude, for our own outlook and perspective.  We can choose to look at our significant other and pick them apart or take a look at them and look past little irritants that are trivial and in the grand scheme of things unimportant. 

My husband is not perfect...neither is yours...or the next gal's, but I have a news flash for ya!!!  
We are not perfect either!!!  I am so far from perfect and I would hate to think that my husband spent his time tearing me apart as he focused on what he wished I did better or looked at all the things I have EVER done wrong and kept a running tally...some of us just might be guilty of this... 

Why don't we spend a little time thinking about what made us fall in love that person that we live with...what was it about him or her that just did it for you?  Did he just rock your world?  Did he make you melt as he walked past?  Did he sweep you off your feet?  Did your heart skip a beat and feel all sorts of twitterpated at the thought of him?  Well, guess what?  IF he ever made you feel weak in the knees, then he can again!  IF he is willing and you are willing to allow him to give you that incredible, unforgettable feeling once again!  That's really what is takes -- two willing participants and you can have the world!
Maybe we have a lot to learn from those silly little birds...in many of the photos I've seen of them, they walk around holding hands (okay they hold wings, but you get the idea) 
How often do you hold your man's hand? 
How often do you give him a hug? 
How often do you give him your greatest smile? 
How often do you give him a kiss that will make him want to turn around and come back for more?  How often do you tell him that he really does rock your world? 
When was the last time you told him you loved him and Really said it with a deep, intense feeling? 
How often does he get your best YOU?  Or do we save that for everyone else?  He is the one who needs and deserves it and when we give him our best self, He is gonna want to give it back a hundred fold!

It has to start with someone...so if your marriage has lost it's spark, it's dazzle, if that sweet twitterpated feeling has faded a smidge, if you wish for more, then make it happen....
BUT don't make it happen with someone else!
Put your time and energy into your hubby...Into your family...

It really can come back...If there was ever a flicker within, it can be lit again!!!

Okay, now maybe I can get some sleep...have no idea why I needed to write this, but I knew that it would be another very long night if I didn't get this out of me...

And if I have offended anyone in reading this, please accept my apologies and know that I am the least judgemental person on divorce...I had others telling me that divorce was wrong when I made that choice 24 years ago.  I do not live in your home, and they did not live in mine. 
My ranting and raving is really directed for those men/women who do not value what they have and cannot look past trivial things and remember who they fell in love with...THAT PERSON IS STILL THERE...and you can still fall in love with them time after time!

It just breaks my heart to see all these single parent families and all the sadness that comes with them.  My wish and hope is that my kiddos (and all other kiddos for that matter) would never again say that Humans are nothin' like penguins...I want them to feel secure that famililes are the #1 Priority and that momma's and dad's do stay together forever just like those adorable little penguins!