Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The questions of my heart...
So I have cause to worry that I may be in the wrong...
Have you ever stopped to consider that some of the things you may "require" of your children are for more benefit to you than to them?
I am struggling with choosing my battles
while at the same time struggling to retain consistency in the things that I believe are important.
This is where it gets sticky...
If I believe something is important
does that mean that my children should also feel the same level of importance?
Does it matter if they do?
Is it silly to think that could ever happen?
or that it SHOULD happen?
Am I the end-all?
Does my feeling
or my belief
Is my belief or my wish
hefty enough to outweigh
their wish or belief?
If a child feels very strongly about something
and I, in turn,
feel just as strongly
in the opposite direction...
I am not in this thing called
It is not a competition
between my children and myself.
And IF I ever get to the point that my struggle becomes to win...
I have, in all essence, lost.
Because at that point,
I have lost the most important thing...
the relationship I have with my child.
I should value that above and beyond all.
I so strongly believe that my children deserve respect...
I expect respect
and I believe they deserve my respect;
from this comes a wonderful balance of mutual respect.
Mutual respect does not mean letting a child have their own way,
but it does mean that I regard him as a person with the same rights to make decisions as I have.
back to my dilemma ~
at what point do I back down
or say "okay, you can make your choices"
and then be okay with what that choice.
At what point do I say
"I'm sorry, I am asking you to do________
and I need you to respect that request."
(I must insert here that these are not choices of good or bad,
they are not life and death issues,
they are simply choices of what I feel may benefit them
or build them
or strengthen them...
I would not be writing of things that were of serious consequence ~
those would not be open to negotiation)
as I write that I feel so strongly
that what I wish for this particular child to do,
in this case,
could bring with it
a natural consequence
that could help to shape his life forever in a beautiful way.
My desire to "Help" my children become their very best
is truly a righteous desire...
It isn't about me,
it's about them.
can I "force" them
to be who I wish for them to be?
Am I forcing my will on them
by strongly encouraging
and at times
even putting my foot down
to get my way?
Even though in my heart, I am doing what I feel is best for them...
Or am I simply leading and guiding?
No force involved?
Just being the Mom I'm supposed to be?
These are the questions of my heart this night.
Does anyone, anywhere have the answer for me???
it is not easy
to be the
I only wish to do right by my children.
I wish to not shove who I am down their throats.
I wish to have them experience all that is good and wonderful in this life.
I wish to protect their hearts.
I wish to expose them to those things that will strengthen them.
I wish to encourage them and allow them to be who they are meant to be.
I wish to trust
and sit back
that I do not have to be in control
and to know that all the experiences
they have in this life
will serve to mold and refine them into
exactly who they are meant to become.
Rest easy heart...
they will "become" in their very own special way.