Homeschool Conference!!!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Gold Stars 'n Billboards

I'm wondering if I missed my other "calling" in life...
My first calling is Mom, but I can't help but feel that there is another.

It seems that no matter where I go, no matter the situation, there is most often someone who needs to talk, someone who just needs a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or a friend to comfort their heavily burdened heart.  I'm beginning to think I must have a sign that is invisible to my eyes but one that blinks in obnoxious bright colors with an open invitation to the weariest of hearts that I am the perfect source of comfort and counsel and that ALL details should be dumped for the sorting.

Now I want you to know that I do not mind this, I just find it fascinating and more than a little curious.  I am starting to see this as a blessing in my life, it is still very odd to me, I don't know that I will ever understand WHY these people come to me...strangers, people I've never met, never spoken to....and yet, it is as though I am an overpowering magnetic force for them...I just suck 'em all in!

I can be anywhere, seriously anywhere and IT happens.
The grocery store, walking down the street, sitting at a scouting activity, or while picking up school supplies for my kiddos.  Some are significant, others more casual.  Today was one that may stick out in my mind for some time.

My hubby had a job and since it was a Saturday afternoon and since I make his schedule, which means I made him have to work on a day he could have had off, I felt like it was only right that I go along for the ride and keep him company, so I did.

Well, we arrive at this beautiful little home and my husband starts cleaning the carpets and the next thing I know I am in a DEEP conversation with the young man who owns the home.  He was simply showing me around and I commented on how lovely his home was; it was being prepped for sale, so I inquired if he and his wife (which he'd already mentioned when referring to the choice of paint colors on the walls) had found a larger home or if they were still looking. 

That's where it all started. 

He asked me, "Do you believe in God?" 
I felt a smile immediately come across my face as I told him that, "YES...I sure do..."

I guess that made it safe for him to talk with me???

We proceeded to discuss his marriage, the lack of love he felt for and from his wife and the fact that LOVE had never truly existed.
He said they had met and quickly married at the age of 21...there was all sorts of excitement and hooplah with the planning and such, but the Real stuff just hadn't been there.  He referred to her very kindly and never spoke ill of her at all...rather, he spoke of her in a very tender way, one of concern.  He mentioned that he felt they were more like great roommates and friends, not a great couple.
One of his primary concerns that he needed addressed was
if I felt he was less of a Christian
if he chose to go through with his divorce. 
He was so concerned about what their friends and family were saying regarding divorce and how that was not something a Christian would do...
they mentioned to him that the Bible says they cannot and should not end their marriage.

Well, my advice to him was two fold...
to begin with the most important thing to me was to have him reconsider whether or not there had ever REALLY been a true love present in his heart for her...
BECAUSE if it had been there,
and had just lost some of its luster and awe,
if there had been a full flame at one time --
that a spark could always be re-lit and it could be even better and brighter and more magnificent than ever before...
sadly, after listening to him,
I can honestly say that I think both he and his wife deserve more than what he can give to her,
she deserves to be loved
and he deserves to be with someone he can love.  

I felt ever so grateful that they did not have children together;
I found myself telling him that the very most important thing that he needed to consider was the possibility of ever bringing children into their lives and how vital it would be that those little people could see and feel the love that their daddy had for their momma. 
Again, it just wasn't there for him, so this is best...they both need and deserve more!

Secondly, I addressed the "Christian" comment...
(this may not sit well with some of you, and if it doesn't I am sorry, BUT I FEEL this quite passionately!)...
so I asked him if he felt that God put him on this Earth to be unhappy? 
I asked him if this life is just to be a test to see how much he could endure or if he believed that God had something much bigger in mind for him? 
Did he believe that God wished for him to find joy and happiness in life or to just wade through day after day? 
We don't receive a Gold Star at the end of this life for making it through...we don't have to stay in a situation that isn't right. 

I believe with all of my heart that our Heavenly Father looks down and just like we, as mothers and fathers do, wishes for His children to be blissfully happy...to be living each day as if they'd just received a big Gold Star. 


(think back to being a little person, wasn't it just the best to be the recipient of one of those fantastic stickers?  I think He'd like us to feel that same glee inside as often as possible)



It is true that marriages aren't perfect, and I know that every day is not really going to be a Gold Star day, BUT I DO KNOW ..."Men are, that they might have joy"  (2 Nephi 2:25) and I believe that a great deal of responsiblity lies with us to help bring about that joy in our own lives.

Going back to my little friend today...
I don't know if I gave him all the right answers
or if I gave him any of the right answers,
but what I saw was a young man who walked away with his shoulders a little higher, with his smile a little brighter and his heart a little lighter...
he told me that he knew God had brought me into his life today and he thanked me for spending time with him.

So...I will add him to my list of people I will pray for and I will thank my Heavenly Father for the blessing that he has given me...this amazing billboard I carry about on my head brings some pretty phenomenal experiences my way.  I really do love people and I find it a privilege to spend a little time lifting their hearts.

Wishing you a beautiful Sunday!