Getting to Know Me...

Life is such an interesting thing....just when you think you know yourself, you find that maybe you don't.
Hmmm...as I ponder this...I am finding that if I will allow myself to grow a little and to open myself up a little here and there, that there are some really great things hiding inside of me that I didn't even know existed. I'm getting to know me a little better. I'm not a very brave soul, but I participated in something that caused me to be as brave as I may have ever been...and I am a better person because of it!

Friday evening, I had the priveledge of singing in a most beautiful production ~ an Easter Cantata. This is 100% out of my character! I have always been afraid to sing in the presence of any other human being (with the exception of my little kids because they don't know that I lack possession of a heavenly voice) Well, this came to a halt a couple of months ago, as one of our daughters decided she wanted to participate in this singing event. I dropped her off at the first practice and as I was driving away, I thought to myself, "Why am I not doing this with her?" What a strange, very, very strange thought to come from me...but I went with it, drove myself home, changed into a skirt and promptly drove right back to the church. And for the next two months, practiced every week and then sang in the privacy of my car where not a soul could hear me, except little ol' me. Crazy, huh?!

I will be honest, there were two nights that I wanted to just get up and walk right out of that building and pretend I had never committed myself to such a crazy thing! The women that I stood next to had the most angelic voices and I found myself frequently comparing my inadequacies...bad, bad thing to do!!! My lack of confidence almost caused me to miss out on one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I had to be sooooo very brave and talk myself into staying, but I did it, I did not quit, I did not give up on myself. With each week I found that I could sing a little better, I could hit those incredible notes, I began to believe in myself little by little. I found that as I quit focusing on what others may have been thinking of my voice, that I started to "Feel" what beautiful music we were singing, I could feel the message, I could feel such a special spirit as I participated. The night of the event, I had to physically stop myself from swaying with the music and losing myself in the moment, I had to remember there were people in the audience that might see me as I "felt every moment of every song" ~ this is one night I will not soon forget...and I love that I am learning more about myself along this journey called life, it's kinda fun getting to know me!!! I wonder what things are in store??? Life is an adventure!