Homeschool Conference!!!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Getting to Know Me...

Life is such an interesting thing....just when you think you know yourself, you find that maybe you don't. I ponder this...I am finding that if I will allow myself to grow a little and to open myself up a little here and there, that there are some really great things hiding inside of me that I didn't even know existed. I'm getting to know me a little better. I'm not a very brave soul, but I participated in something that caused me to be as brave as I may have ever been...and I am a better person because of it!

Friday evening, I had the priveledge of singing in a most beautiful production ~ an Easter Cantata. This is 100% out of my character! I have always been afraid to sing in the presence of any other human being (with the exception of my little kids because they don't know that I lack possession of a heavenly voice) Well, this came to a halt a couple of months ago, as one of our daughters decided she wanted to participate in this singing event. I dropped her off at the first practice and as I was driving away, I thought to myself, "Why am I not doing this with her?" What a strange, very, very strange thought to come from me...but I went with it, drove myself home, changed into a skirt and promptly drove right back to the church. And for the next two months, practiced every week and then sang in the privacy of my car where not a soul could hear me, except little ol' me. Crazy, huh?!

I will be honest, there were two nights that I wanted to just get up and walk right out of that building and pretend I had never committed myself to such a crazy thing! The women that I stood next to had the most angelic voices and I found myself frequently comparing my inadequacies...bad, bad thing to do!!! My lack of confidence almost caused me to miss out on one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I had to be sooooo very brave and talk myself into staying, but I did it, I did not quit, I did not give up on myself. With each week I found that I could sing a little better, I could hit those incredible notes, I began to believe in myself little by little. I found that as I quit focusing on what others may have been thinking of my voice, that I started to "Feel" what beautiful music we were singing, I could feel the message, I could feel such a special spirit as I participated. The night of the event, I had to physically stop myself from swaying with the music and losing myself in the moment, I had to remember there were people in the audience that might see me as I "felt every moment of every song" ~ this is one night I will not soon forget...and I love that I am learning more about myself along this journey called life, it's kinda fun getting to know me!!! I wonder what things are in store??? Life is an adventure!