Will I ever be a good listener???

I've decided that I really am not a very good "listener"...

I was supposed to be heading up to Girls Camp a little earlier today, but just had this nagging "feeling" that I really should not leave until tomorrow.  Couldn't figure out why, so I thought I'd just ignore that little feeling and head up anyway. 
BAD IDEA...
never ignore those moments...
(didn't I just write about this???)

When we are not supposed to do something,
"something" will happen
to make it that we are unable to ignore what we really should have been listening to...

The "something" that happened is sad,
and my poor little people are the ones who have to suffer...
I have two little kiddos with fevers --
just out of the blue ~ FEVERS ~
we don't get fevers in June
in the middle of the afternoon...

what is this all about?   
Well, it is all about the fact that for some unknown reason, I was not to leave today and about the only thing that would keep me from going would be for my kids to not feel well.
If I didn't feel well, I'd buck up and go anyway, but when my little people need me, I just cannot leave.

So...again, a lesson learned the hard way.  SOOOOOO sorry kiddos, I will try to be better.

Time for a little snuggling and loving...guess I'll sleep a comfy night in my own home...and try again tomorrow!  And I will give some serious extra effort to "listening"...

(For those of you who think I'm a little off my rocker with all of this, I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason...many times we will never know the reason...but I believe that I am being watched over and someone much bigger than me loves me and cares about me and wishes to protect me...)

I AM ENOUGH...

Had the most amazing experience with meditation this past week...

During a marvelously relaxing moment ~ I had a continuing thought running through my mind and it was so sweet, so simple, yet so empowering ~ three beautiful little words...

I
am
enough


Do you ever just have doubt?  Do you ever wonder if you really are enough?
Do you ever think to yourself -- I wish I was... (fill it in, blah, blah, blah, we all do it)

Well, I have struggled with this, but I am going to do all in my power to remember these 3 simple, yet profoundly important words...  I am enough...

In fact, I think I'll paint it up and hang it in my room as a constant reminder.
I have to believe that if I am doing my best, then that is enough, so...
I am enough.

and that makes me happy!

Following & Trusting...

I Love it when the Spirit teaches and guides me
and then when I act on it, the Spirit confirms to me
that what I am doing is just as I am to do...
Beautiful Moment!

I had an experience last month that truly spoke to me...
I had zero intentions of doing a particular thing, in fact, I was quite adamant that I would not do this "thing"...
that is until the Spirit refused to let me alone. 
I tried desperately to "fight" this feeling I was having,
tried to think of it as nothing more than simply "a feeling" ~
but the point is
I was to go and tackle my fears,
to be who I am,
to be happy with who I am,
to not sink lower than I am to please or suffice another. 
HE sees great things in me even when I cannot, and for this I will be eternally grateful. 

And I am also grateful that He does not give up easily ~
I tend to be a tad bit stubborn at times,
thinking I am right,
that I know what is best for me,
that I can stay in my comfortable little space...
but He wants me to "get out there" --
He wants me to Shine, not to hide...
just as I would wish for my children to do. 
He wants me to share who I am and what I am and what I believe in and stand for.

Well, if there is one thing I have learned, it is that you do not ignore a prompting, no matter how difficult you may feel it to be.  You do as you are prompted and then you wait and sure enough, you will receive confirmation that it wasn't just a fleeting thought or some random flitting little thing floating through time and space, rather it was truly a moment you were to listen to and act upon.

I am slow, but I am learning to follow the Spirit and it is a beautiful thing!

All about Ben...

This year we've enjoyed some great studies of our Founding Fathers as well as some fascinating stories of the beginnings of our great Nation...

After a class I taught on Benjamin Franklin a couple of months ago, I had a friend bring over a book to our family to enjoy.  (Thanks Jerusha!)

I just had to share this one with all of you...it is FANTASTIC!  Great story to use as a read-aloud for your kiddos...we just took a few minutes and enjoyed this little gem one last time before it is returned to the library...AND we read it in the sunshine (BONUS!!!)  The sun is out today ~ hooray!!!

Anyway, back to this little book titled How Ben Franklin Stole The Lightning, written by Rosalyn Schanzer...the illustrations are magnificent and richly colorful...the story is entertaining and educational...After you read about him ~ you feel a huge regard of awe for this incredible man...He makes you just want to be better, to never give up, to use your imagination because the sky is the limit.  What an inspiration he is!

A couple of quotes from this little book that I love just have to be shared ~ so here goes:

Ben Franklin was honored with a medallion from France for all that he had done, it reads, "He snatched the lightning from heaven and the scepter from tyrants."  And he did!

And from Benjamin Franklin himself, he once wrote:  "If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing."  He spent a lifetime doing both.

And this book is sooooo worth the read ~ YOU and your kiddos will love it!
Happy Reading  :0)

Funny Kids

Today while driving to the library to pick up a book for our read aloud time, my youngest son piped up with this:  "I think I'm gonna need a few jobs when I'm old...I'm gonna work at Moxie Java, and be a cop, and work at McDonald's." 

Okay???   I just had to ask the crazy question, "Why would you want to work at Moxie Java and McDonald's?"  I already knew he wanted to be a cop but the other two were new ones for me to hear.  His reply was pretty adorable ~ kids!!!

"Well, if I work at Moxie Java I can drink all of the hot chocolate I want and when I work at McDonald's I get a free lunch."  I guess that makes perfect sense, especially if you are a 10 year old boy!

Next funny child moment:

My baby is about to turn 6 in just a couple of days!!!  Not really sure how that crept up so quickly, but it sure has.  Anyway, today she checked the mailbox and there was some serious excitement happening!  There was an envelope for her.  When she read her name on the mail, I think she was ready to do flips in the air!  But, wait it gets even better ~ the mail was from Toys R Us...She ripped open that envelope and inside was a birthday card and a coupon for $3!  You'd have thought it was worth $300.00!!!  She was so excited she could hardly contain it  ~ and then all of a sudden her face got really serious, she looked at me and said "WOW, I didn't even know they knew my name!"

A couple of days ago, she also made us all laugh...she has had these two crazy loose teeth that just did not want to give it up and held on for the longest time ~ we kept calling her "snaggle-tooth" cause one on the top has just been barely hanging on and she refused to let anyone touch it!  Anyway, this little one LOVES corn on the cob, but has not been able to eat it with these pesky loose teeth.  Well, one afternoon the first tooth popped out and then magically just a day or so later the second one gave it up too.  No more loose teeth!  She was semi excited about the Tooth Fairy ~ but elated that she'd be able to eat corn on the cob again.  I just didn't have the heart to tell her that without those two front teeth, corn on the cob eating would be more than a little difficult.

Gotta love kids!!!

Individual Worth

Many have probably seen the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”…my husband and I watch this every year around Christmas time. There is a valuable lesson to be learned from this movie. The story revolves around the life of a particular man, named George ~ showing his victories, his struggles and his failures ~ at one point in the story, this man is overcome with the weight of his burdens and basically runs away from his family and his life. He is so distraught that he is ready to take his own life by jumping off of a bridge ~ he feels he is at the end of his rope and just cannot continue on with the pressures of life…that is when a perfectly wonderful, chubby little guardian angel named Charles arrives…this little angel has been desperately trying to “get his wings” and George becomes his new challenge…Well, the angel jumps into the water and George, without hesitation, jumps in after him to save his life. After his rescue, as they are warming themselves by the fire, Charles, the angel keeps prodding about George's life and finally tells him that he was sent to be his guardian angel. 
George, in frustration states that the world,
his family,
everything
would have been better had he never been born.
The angel asks him if that is his wish…
and voila…
the wish is granted and the world is as if George were never born.

This is where the beautiful lesson is taught…the angel takes George back through the little town he lived in and showed him how life would have really been had he not been there, had he not been an influence in the lives of others…

George doesn’t like what he sees and comes to the realization of just how many lives he had a direct effect over, it was staggering to me the first time we watched this movie and has actually made me ponder the many, many people who have made me who I am today simply by their influence, it also makes me want to be a better person so that I can have a positive influence on those around me…
Well, back to the story…George is finally able to “come back” to living his life,
struggles and all…
BUT this time his countenance and his outlook on life has completely changed. He is able to see things in a new light, I believe he was able to see his individual worth in this great big world.
Oh and we can’t forget his little guardian angel ~ he did get his wings.

We are much like George in this story…There may be times when we feel like giving up...life is hard...we may feel people would be better if we were never born...BUT what if we could have just the smallest glimpse of life "without us"...what a gift George received.  We may never truly know whose lives we have made a difference in ~ but I believe that every person we come into contact with will leave with something from us, just as we do from them...

Following is a quote by President David O. McKay ~ I took the liberty of changing it just a bit to make it a little more meaningful and personal...

"There is one responsibility which no man  I cannot evade; that responsibility is his my personal influence.   Man’s  My unconscious influence is the silent, subtle radiation of his my personality – the effect of his my words and his my actions on others. This radiation is tremendous. Every moment of life man is  I am changing, to a degree, the life of the whole world.


Every man has I have an atmosphere, which is affecting every other man. He I cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his my character, this constant weakening or strengthening of others. Man I can select the qualities he I would permit to be radiated. He I can cultivate sweetness, calmness, trust, generosity, truth, justice, loyalty, nobility, and make them vitally active in his my character. And by these qualities he I will constantly affect the world.


This radiation, to which I refer, (He refers) comes from what a person really is I really am, not from what he I pretend to be. Every man by his mere living is radiating either sympathy, sorrow, morbidness, cynicism, or happiness and hope – or any one of a hundred other qualities.


Life is a state of radiation and absorption.
To exist is to radiate;
to exist is to be the recipient of radiation."

Those are some pretty powerful words...if you didn't really get it the first time, re-read it, let it sink in...YOU radiate!

I would like to suggest to you today that each of you is of more worth than you could ever imagine or believe. Sometimes that may be hard for us to believe of ourselves…we see possibilities in others, but do we ever dream of the possibilities within ourselves?

Do we truly recognize the way we radiate to others?
Do we see value and worth in ourselves…
do we see value and worth in those around us?
Do we take the time to recognize and appreciate the worth of each individual.
When you look around …
do you see others who have touched your life and changed who you are?
Can you think back to those who have made a profound difference to you?

I think of my parents, my sister, my extended family,
I think of my Husband ~ he truly helped me to see who I am and to recognize my worth,
I think of the many friends I have had throughout my life,
I think of the missionary who spent countless hours in my behalf,
I think of each one of my children,
I think of the Young Women I work with each week,
I think of all the boys I have worked with in Scouts while I served in Webelos, I grew to love and admire them,
I think of so many of you and I thank all of you…I am who I am because of each of you!

How much do you personally think you are worth?
Do you value yourself?
Do you love yourself?
Our Savior has shown each of us just how much we are worth ~
he gave ALL for us ~
He believes in us and sees in us our true value, our true worth as individuals in this life.

I heard the following quote many years ago, when our oldest daughter was preparing to graduate…she used this as her favorite quote on her plaque…it is quoted from Nelson Mandela:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…As we let our Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So go out there and shine…Radiate your light to others…make a difference ~ YOU have it in you…share it.

People are a lot like stained glass windows. They glow and sparkle when it’s sunny and bright, but when the sun goes down their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

I want to share a beautiful quote from Barbara B. Smith:

“Like the caterpillars who will one day become butterflies, you have the magnificent potential to develop the powers within you and become greater than most of you dare to dream…You have the power and the capacity to perform so well that you can inherit all that our Father has if you begin the process and continue until you become what you are really meant to be… You can choose to use the powers within you to have a happy life of continual growth and development that leads to eternal progression.”

During this past week I had the opportunity (not that it was wanted, but it was present) to learn firsthand just exactly what the worth of an individual is...
My dear friend Beckie, endured what I have to believe was one of the hardest things ever...to sit by and watch, not being able to do anything but hope and pray, as her husband underwent surgery for a brain aneurysm.  My heart broke for her...I thought of all of the many times she and her husband had been significant in my life...I hoped and prayed for all I was worth for Beckie and her family, I prayed that her husband Robert would be able to pull through and would come out on top of the world...and much to our joy and amazement he returned home just days after his surgery.  Our lives would never have been the same if this special man didn't remain a constant, positive influence of good.  And to think, he probably has no idea how much he really means to our family...how sad that we don't share these thoughts.  I have to wonder if he knows how much others value him...

After "watching" this experience I found myself realizing that each person I am in contact with from those I love most dearly to those I know only briefly have a place in my world...and I in theirs...I want to be able to look at others and truly "see" them ~ deep inside, not surface, not the easy to judge stuff, but who they really deeply are, inside.  Life throws us a few surprises now and then, I've come to look at them as blessings because through these surprises we grow and change and become ~ and that is what life is really all about.

Have a beautiful week and next time you look in the mirror,
love the person looking back at you,
YOU ARE AMAZING!

EAT PRAY LOVE

Spent my day and evening laying in bed with a dumb old ear infection and fever...the only plus side was that I didn't have to make dinner or clean up and my hubby rented a movie for me to enjoy while I lay here wasting my time.  I think I should be grateful to be laying in bed not having to do a thing, but I don't do that really well.  All I find myself doing is thinking of all the things I need to do or wish to do, so a movie was in order to take my mind off of such things.  Shortly into the movie, I found myself grabbing a notebook just to jot down little thoughts that came to me..  CRAZY I know, but it's just who I am...there were lessons to be learned and I couldn't miss them (or forget them if I failed to make note of them).

So the movie of choice was EAT PRAY LOVE...hadn't seen it, wanted to see it in the theaters, but didn't so this was the perfect night for such an activity.  And my dear hubby had to be gone for the evening, so this would make it pass just a smidge more quickly.  As I was laying here feeling a tad bit sorry for myself that I was all alone watching a chick flick that really should involve a bunch of girlfriends, my sweet daughter came up to join me, no longer alone ~ :0)  yippee.

To begin with I don't know that most hubbies would enjoy this movie at all...and for good reason, the wife (Julia Roberts) decides she doesn't want to be married any longer.  (But I do have to say, that I probably wouldn't have wished to be married to him either...not that he was horrible or anything, but...you'll have to see it for yourself to decide)  Anyway...she decided to take a little sabbatical from life...she called it a Truth Seeking Journey. 

The movie went through her "journey" of finding herself, learning to love herself and her realization that truth will not be withheld from you.

I, for one, think it would be simply amazing to go through her little experience, only I wouldn't leave my marriage, I'd be taking along that special man of mine...and I'd have to wait until all my kiddos were grown.  Aside from those little details, I cannot imagine how wonderful and empowering and peaceful and exhilerating and exciting and grounding an experience like hers would be for a person or for a couple.

She took one year and visited three destinations...the first was to Eat ~ she spent her time in Italy and ate to her hearts content.  She toured and learned the language and learned to love the people (I believe this was her first step in learning to love herself... to learn to love others)  Here, she began to open herself, she struggled with being "ALONE", yet it was something she "needed" in order to begin healing.

She also gave some pretty cute advice to a friend of hers regarding her "muffin top" she had acquired from eating all the delicious food of Italy...I won't share it, but it was pretty funny and accurate! 
Her time in Italy seemed so enjoyable and yummy and was again just her first step in this little journey.

After leaving the gourmet foods of Italy, she headed to India ~ her focus was to PRAY, to MEDITATE, to find God~ she found that God lives within her...In the beginning of the movie, while still in her marriage, she prays to God for the first time and pours her heart out pleading for direction, for help...she didn't "know" Him and had a deep desire to find Him and to feel Him.  It was beautiful when she finally recognized that we have a special spirit within us ~ she worded it differently stating that God isn't out there, He lives within us..but the point is she finally "Found" Him.  Made me think back to my first prayer as an adult, and my life as it has changed because of knowing and trusting and loving Him. 

While in India, she met up with an older man, who came across a little too harsh and yucky...but he became a mentor and a true friend to her.  He had some of the best advice for her during her struggles, now mind you, most of this came during her moments of protest and disatisfaction with him.  But those words of wisdom became gems for her growth.  One morning, she was struggling deeply with meditation (in a group setting) and walked out, he followed her and basically asked her what her problem was...she responded with "I just want Peace."  To which he abruptly replied, "If you want to sit in the castle, you have to swim the moat."  She was a little miffed at him and commented that she couldn't keep her thoughts together during this meditation process, that she couldn't keep up with what was happening around her.  He told her that meditation was not about anything outside of her, simply the things within.  And added (which I love by the way) "Select your thoughts the same way you select your clothes each day."
I LOVED that whole conversation...
In our home I have a little quote hanging in our kitchen that reads,.
"HOW HAPPY DID YOU DECIDE TO BE TODAY?" 
I think this goes right along with that...WE ARE IN CONTROL ~ we simply need to recognize that fact within ourselves and we can find all the happiness, joy, peace, what have you, that we desire...
It is all about the thoughts and choices we "choose" or select to have...mighty empowering to be awakened to such a truth...what a valuable tool to teach to our kiddos ~ they are in control...they have the choice.

(Back to Julia)  During her time in India is where she learned to forgive herself...forgive herself for a failed marriage, failed relationships, failed whatever...  She had been so worried about others forgiving her that she failed to see the most vital part ~ She had to first forgive herself...again she had a deep need to learn to love herself and find value in herself.  While in India, she loved others in a way she had not experienced previously, which was so healing and beautiful for her.

Her final destination was Balai ( I think, not absolutely positive on that one)  Anyway, this was a magical ending for her Truth Seeking Journey...
It was here that she would truly find herself and allow herself to be just who she was, to learn to trust, to learn to love, to finally for once be at peace within herself.  This was a true stuggle for her.  She met with a "medicine man" frequently who would read her hands and look into her face and her eyes...he counseled her and gave her strength.  she relied greatly on him.  I think he was in a way a bit of a savior for her...he helped her to see the things that were within that she still had failed to recognize.  This was a beautiful transformation for her.
At one point, she nearly threw away one of the most important "things" that had come her way...because of fear...fear of losing herself again...she felt she had found a "balance" and if she gave herself away that balance would be lost and she would no longer be loveable nor desirable because she feared she would go back to the same person she had been.  The LOVE of the story takes place here...a darling man who was deeply in love with her (as she was with him, but couldn't bring herself to admit) told her that she misunderstood balance and said these words to her, "Balance is not letting anybody love you less than you love yourself."  She stormed off shouting I don't need to love you to love myself....this is where I began to doubt she'd truly learned a thing...she was packed and ready to head back to the states when she made her final visit to the "medicine man" ~ he sensed  something a little different, a little sad and she tried to explain her thoughts  of losing herself again.  I loved how he responded to her, quite possibly it was more the deep sincerity in his eyes as he spoke, but nevertheless, these are the words he shared with her, "Sometimes to lose balance for love is part of living balance in life."   Hmmm...took me a few minutes for that one to completely sink in....

We cannot fear so much that we fail to live...life will feel out of balance for us from time to time (possibly more often than not)...but how sad it would be to always live a life of fear...there would be no living at all, just surving, just being, but the living would be missing...

I remember feeling so many of these exact feelings when I met my dear husband. 
After a failed marriage, failed relationships and much sadness and sorrow, I truly did not want to repeat those things in my world ever again.  I greatly feared the immense love I felt for him, I wanted to push him away, wanted to run the other direction, but my heart was screaming inside to me that he was different, that he would truly love me and would always treat me well...that there was nothing to fear.  It took many, many years to be completely rid of the fears that I had, but I am so grateful that I jumped in with both feet and a huge heart full of love for him.  My life would have been empty without him...I would not have been truly "living" all of these wonderful years we've been together, if he were not present in my life.

So, back to the movie...after hearing the wise counsel of this medicine man, she rushes to her darling man and to make it short and sweet ~ they live happily ever after.  (doesn't that just make your heart smile???)  I loved it!

Truth Seeking Journeys...Do they all need to be a year long sabbatical?  I think not...it would be nice, but reality is reality and a year long is simply not possible or even necessary for most.  Whether they are external or internal, a truth seeking journey is something I think we do on a continual basis...aren't we always hungering for truth, for answers, for peace, for growth...

I will end with one of my favorite quotes again from this little movie ~
"If you want to sit in the castle ~
You have to swim the moat."

It takes effort,
it takes work,
it takes faith
to make the journey...
i BELIEVE LIFE IS THE JOURNEY AND WE ARE MEANT TO LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!

Have a beautiful day ~ enjoy the rain...