Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Debunking homeschooling myths, and overcoming the defeatist things we tell ourselves
Ooohhh…that’s a biggie!!!
There are so many things to choose from, but I will focus on the one that stands out most in my mind: I can honestly say that the very biggest, most terrifying myth that I’ve told myself as a homeschooling mom--the one that would keep me awake at night--was the defeatist thought of ruining my kids for life!!!
“What IF they don’t get all that they need?
What IF I hold them back in some way?
What IF I ruin them?
What IF they can’t handle socializing outside of the walls of my home?
What IF I totally screw them up???”
I don’t really care all that much about what anyone else thinks of our decision to home school . . .
they have the right to their opinion,
but it doesn’t have to ruin my day.
However, the thought of ruining my kids . . . now that would be a very bad day!
I am here to tell you that I have not done it all right; we have had some pretty lousy years.
On the other hand, we have also had some mighty outstanding years (hooray!).
We did not begin each and every day with the most fabulous of devotionals--
I just did my best.
We did not always get to “My Plan” for the day . . . truth be told, most often we did not.
BUT I am going to say I’d like to pat myself on the back, because I didn’t let “My Plan” come before watching and paying attention to what my kids most needed. I would observe them in an effort to really see with my eyes and my heart where they were, how they were feeling, if they were “getting it” or if we were just going through the motions in an effort to simply earn another check mark on the list.
It really isn’t about how great we are as educators or how many lessons we can say we’ve accomplished on any given day . . .
It is so much more about how well we see our kids’ needs, their strengths, their weaknesses, their gifts and their talents.
It is also about knockin’ out the myths they tell themselves.
It is about being a cheerleader for your kiddos and letting them know YOU BELIEVE IN THEM . . . it is about picking them back up when they feel defeated and starting over again --together.
Now that I have two daughters that have graduated and moved past their days at home under my “instruction,” I can see that I didn’t screw them up at all.
They are far from ruined . . .
they are beautiful inside and out.
The characters they possess and the countenance they carry with them and share with others shines and brings a smile to my face. They have confidence in who they are and in just how fabulous they are. They know that nothing in this world is too big for them to tackle if they have the desire!
On days that I look at all the kiddos still in my home and go back to the “What ifs” that leave me feeling defeated and weary, I try to remind myself of just how much I love the people our girls have turned out to be . . . that gives me all the strength I need.
I didn’t do anything that YOU and every other parent in this world can’t also do . . .
I just loved them with all of my heart and gave them ALL that I could possibly give.
I believed in them
and I enjoyed my time with them.
I laughed with them
and learned with them
and cried with them
and shared my thoughts when I was afraid I was not doing all they needed.
we always worked through knocking down those nasty myths and defeatist thoughts.
I am so grateful to say I would be thrilled to shout from the rooftops
(if only I could climb on top of one)
that I know there is
no kid-ruining going on here . . .
there is only magnificent refining happening day in and day out.
I would add that one day these kids of mine will do amazing things . . . they will become amazing mothers and fathers, they will become the mentors and leaders that will change this world, they will become all that they dream of because they know that the only thing holding them back could be fear, and they are bigger than fear any day of the week!
How’s that for knocking down some silly ol’ myth???
We’ve got this if we only believe in ourselves and Look Up for help when we need it most.
Wishing you a BOOtiful October!!
(DHSA President's Message for October)