The Orchestra of Life

Peace...
how does one find peace when the things we “know” or have become accustomed to change?
 Is it possible to feel peaceful when one’s world turns upside down?
When the things that brought peace originally-- now fill a soul with doubt and uncertainty,
how does one move on to find stability, understanding and a restful heart?


A very dear friend of mine has finally found peace in her world by doing the seemingly impossible. She has turned her world upside down; leaving all that represents normalcy to most of us.

After many years of marriage, she has left what in the beginning held all of her dreams and later held what stifled her most.

As I write those words, I feel tears coming on again.

Why?

Because I feel so saddened when I look at others whose marriages do not fulfill all the dreams and desires of their hearts. I feel sorrow that what should have made her feel safe, alive, happy, free to be herself, has been the driving force for her leaving. She and her husband failed to be the very best of friends…they didn’t connect…She didn’t feel the love she so needed. She felt restricted, felt she could not think or express or BE…
(there is always more to the story, but this will need to suffice)

I would usually find myself torn apart by such a thing as her leaving her marriage and have numerous times counseled other friends to DO ANYTHING but let this happen in their world.

This was a different situation.
I was surprised at how I felt.
Shocked at how the Spirit touched me and consoled me and spoke to me that this was right.

At first, I wanted to help her “save” her marriage,
to save her family, to save herself from “losing her life.”

BUT, as I spoke with her,
she had clarity that I’d never witnessed in her,
she could make decisions,
she seemed alive, vibrant, confident…
all the things she had struggled with during the years we have been friends.
She didn’t seem to be “losing herself”, she seemed to have found herself within this trial, she found the courage to recognize the princess who’d been still and silent deep inside, she was able to become what had been patiently waiting just under the surface.
This is not to say that she was happy about her choice…it tore her heart to the very core, but she had the resolve that this is what she was truly to do.
In losing her marriage, she was able to find herself.

Having been through similar experiences in my life, I found myself listening to her, crying with her and rejoicing with her that she has the strength and the courage to stand up for herself.
This has been very difficult simply because of the fact that we are very close friends with both of them. I love them both, I love their family. We’ve spent a great deal of time together as families…have beautiful memories that will never be the same without them being “together”, but I feel peace. Not that it is important for me to have peace… this is not about me. But, I do, and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for this sweet blessing. I know that He is helping those close to her to feel her spirit, to be assured of her new-found peace, and to have an understanding that this is what is truly best for their family. (at least for right now)

Deep inside, I secretly pray that HE will work His amazing “magic” on them and that someday they will have the desire and the ability to mend what is torn in their marriage, but for now knowing that Heavenly Father is inspiring her decisions makes all those around her know that this is what is best.

I am writing this post for one reason
~ this sweet friend of mine asked me to write in my journal (this would be “my journal”) so that one day I could look back and recall the day that I had answered a friends prayers. Tears freely flowed once again…we had shared buckets of tears together at this point. Tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears of knowing that change would “change our friendship” ~ not end it, simply change it (and not for the worse, just different)…there will need to be more effort in seeing one another.
At this point, I just have to say I REALLY DO NOT LIKE CHANGE!!!

Okay…moving onto a positive thought…

I marvel at how Heavenly Father answers prayers.
Many, many times I have prayed to be an instrument in His hands…
to help others who may be in need.
While another person (let’s use my friend as an example)
desperately prays for answers to her prayers.
The beauty in this is that He is up there and He uses us to bring things to pass ~
He inspires us to make a phone call when the other person needs nothing more than a listening ear,
he inspires us to “be there” at just the right times,
He inspires us to say just the words that are so needed to be heard at exactly the moment that would make all the difference.

My family had the opportunity to deliver my friends’ belongings to her new home…to see where she will be living…to see their children’s new bedrooms, their school, their neighborhood, their surroundings…

Another peaceful blessing for me.

Again, I know this is not about me, but this is my journal…and I am right smack dab in the middle of expressing all my thoughts and feelings... so I guess maybe it is a little about me.  ANYWAY ~

It was so fantastic to see her walk about, head held high, no doubt in herself, as she showed us her new home. Tears came again as they have many times and I’m sure many more will flow…but as I left her home this morning, I can honestly answer with a beautiful resounding Yes, peace can be found in the midst of some of the hardest trials that come in our lives…I see it in her sweet eyes.

Thank you Heavenly Father for allowing me to be an instrument in your hands and for all of those who have so tenderly played in the orchestra of my life.

I love to close my eyes and imagine this "orchestra"…try it…think of all those wonderful people in your life who have added something special…mighty magnificent to picture isn’t it???? 
I am in awe...He's really got it all together up there!  So happy to be down here living it up!