Homeschool Conference!!!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The WORST Asthma ATTACK ever!!!

I've had my fair share of asthma attacks...most during the daytime hours, many during the nighttime hours (especially over the past couple of years)  Some worse than others, most manageable and not too frightening.

But last night, while deep in sleep, I awoke struggling to take a breath...no air could come in...I felt as though my bronchial tubes were nothing more than a small, weak straw that had been bent in half and was being pinched off at the bending.
My husband was beginning to panic, he didn't know what was happening and I could not speak, I could not breath, I was just making a most horrible noise as I gasped and strained to get a little bit of air into my lungs.  He went on the run to get my inhaler from my purse (I now take it with me EVERYWHERE I go).

The last I remember was leaning against the wall desperately trying to get air, I felt dizzy and weak and although the light had been turned on, everything seemed very dark around me.  I made it into the bathroom and began coughing uncontrollably (I think this was a lifesaver, literally)  The cough forced air in and out of my lungs as I sank to the floor.  My husband arrived with my inhaler and I started puffing away...within just a few more moments, I was okay.

It was then that I looked up at my husband who had been standing by watching me...his face looked drained and washed over with deep concern.  He came to me and just held me for the longest time.  That was the scariest of all experiences I think I have had.  I've had many instances where I struggled to breathe, but none as horrifying as this.

We made it back to bed and I found myself afraid of falling back asleep, what if it happened again?  My chest hurt, I felt a little panicky, but one thing I know about asthma is that you MUST remain calm, you must breathe calmly and deeply, even when there is no air available to breathe.  The more you panic, the more it seems your lungs panic and your bronchial tubes going into a massive spasm attack...not good!

My sweet husband was right by my side throughout the remainder of the night, I just needed to feel his presence, needed his hand wrapped around me, comforting me, protecting me...I fell back asleep.  Hooray!

Morning came too soon, as I awoke I felt as though my little girls had enjoyed a night of Just Dance on my chest.  It is amazing how a body reacts...so today, I am spending my morning in my jammies and robe, doing a little research on how to help strengthen my lungs and what I can do to prevent these sorts of awful experiences from happening again.

What seems so ironic to me is that I possess most of what helps my body to feel good...yet, I have been unable to find it after our mass exodus from our home in Middleton...today I will round up all my goodies and I will treat my body with the ultimate care it deserves.  I have not been taking care of me, I've been so busy trying to take care of everyone else and all their struggles with our moving and settling.  Last night was a wake up call (QUITE LITERALLY!) that I must again become a priority.

I cannot express how your focus changes when faced with a moment of wondering if you will be able to take another breath or not...had it been my last breath, would I be pleased with the way I left this world?  Would I be able to look back with a smile?  Would I be able to say that I left my kiddos with the best me there is?  Would I be able to say that those who are most important in my world know they are?  Did I tell them?  Did I treat them as though they were?  Did I live a life that expressed who I am and what I believe?  I would hope that I would have no regrets, a life with no regrets, a life well lived, a life that lifted ALL those around me...

Just yesterday morning I vowed to myself that I would only be happy, that I would find JOY in each day, that I would be strong for my kids and for my husband, that I would get over my little pity party that I've been deep in the midst of, that I would no longer mourn the loss of the moon out my bedroom window ~ but that I would rejoice in the sunset of each day.  Life is too precious to be walking around hum-drum and unhappy...we must treasure each and every blessing we have and each and every trial we have...for it is those moments that make up our life...