Homeschool Conference!!!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Revisiting Joy....

Is it safe to be JOYOUS???

This was a post I wrote some time back...
Yesterday I had three different comments in various forms come to me regarding the words that I shared then.

I was a little curious why this post all of a sudden brought about the "feelings" that it did,
why 3 in the same day???

I went to that post,
I read it,
I cried,
I smiled,
I laughed,
I cried a little more,
then I hugged my husband
and thanked him for who he is
and what he has done for me for the past several months.

Then I just pondered...

so many things to ponder,
so many thoughts,
so many tender feelings,
so much growth
and understanding about myself,
hard things
happy things
enlightening things...

Even though life is still not really "back to normal" ~ whatever that means...
I am doing well...
I am happy,
I am content,
I laugh everyday,
I smile everyday,
I count my blessings everyday,
I try to remember how far I've come ~ in so many ways,
how much I've learned.
How much this "trial" ~ if we should call it such a nasty name ~
has helped me to feel a little more alive
it has helped me to focus on some of the things that I've put off
because I was too busy
too pre-occupied with "life"
too caught up in all the stuff that needed to be happening.
or that I THOUGHT needed to be happening...

I'm certain I've mentioned this before,
but it is amazing that when "we put out there"
that we are tired,
that we need a break,
that we wish life could just slow down a smidge,
when we wish that we had just a moment to stop and smell the roses, if you will...

that those very wishes may be heard
and then answered
and we may feel a little shocked
even mystified
that the "things" we had asked for ~
even though we didn't REALLY mean them (at least not in their entirety)
come to pass...

Such is the life I have been living for the past 6 + months...

and after re-reading my post (Is it safe to be joyous?)
I was overcome with emotions I did not expect to feel.

For Heaven's Sake,
I wrote the post...
why did it move me so?
why did I lose sleep over the words that I shared months ago?

Why did I read it as though I had never read the words before?
Why did I feel as though I was in some one elses shoes reading the story of another struggling woman?
I was so surprised at my feelings...
yet so grateful for them...
so grateful I had taken the time to pour out my heart ~
as hard as it was.
How grateful I am that maybe in some small way, my words will help some one else.

And today,
as I am contemplating
BIG things
in my life
and trying to move forward
leaving all the fear behind me
wishing to not just "fit in"
but to
by doing anything
and everything
my heart leads me to do...
I am grateful that I re-read the words I shared then...
because some of them had grown dim in my mind,
some I may have even disregarded...
I feel renewed
and I remember
I look forward to all my days ahead of me
To Be
my heart is so full of it!!!