"Really? How much more can I take?"
"WHY ME?"
"I'm tired of this testing thing!"
"I'm obviously not very bright, if I were...You probably wouldn't have to keep trying to teach me the same lesson over and over and over!"
Well, some of these not-so-nice thoughts raced through my mind this evening...and then a beautiful thing happened!
But first...
A little background to help set the stage for this beautiful moment...
~ a few weeks ago, our truck died after we had leant it out to someone...okay, we can deal with that, not a happy moment, but certainly not the end of the world.
Shortly after the truck incident, our desktop computer (which is our BUSINESS computer) decided it's life had come to an end.
A few days ago, our big van was on its last leg, so my hubby went to work fixing away...well, it has been a major pain the tushie for him...as I write, he is STILL diligently working away on it. Last I checked it was still spraying fuel all over the place...not a good thing, especially when gas costs what it does...we don't want to be wasting that precious stuff!
Today, while this dear man of mine is working on the big van, our mini-van overheated and died, leaving myself and 6 of the Young Women I teach stranded (only momentarily) on the side of the road.
Add to all of this the fact that work is not nearly as busy as would be desired...
school is right around the corner and I want so desperately to stock up on school supplies
(not gonna happen...again, really not a big deal)
but I am just feeling a tad bit displeased with our current situation...
I guess I just really don't like trying to decide which bills can be paid
and which ones simply cannot,
or having to budget too tightly when I'd love to just go blow a huge stack of bills on some delish groceries,
or having to wait on that very much desired curriculum I'd love to add to my kiddos schedule...
Well...
all of this is running rampantly through my mind
as I sit on the side of the road...
now mind you...
I cannot have my little melt-down,
that just wouldn't be appropriate as I have this adorable group of girls in my van...
so I have to keep it together
even though it is the very last thing I really want to do.
I want to jump up and down
and have myself a little tissy fit,
or maybe rolling around on the ground
hitting my fists
and stomping my feet down
might be a better release.
Instead, I just smiled,
made a phone call to take care of these girls,
and then reluctantly dialed my hubby to give him even more bad news.
His reply was simply, "Find a Match!"
Okay, so are you ready for the beautiful thing that happened?
I am,
I now need a reminder of how amazing life is after that big ugly list!
Well, we had a couple of leaders in other cars show up to retrieve the girls and take them to our activity...
A little testimony fireside...
And then a friend picked me up...
I couldn't decide if I should just go home and
wallow in self-pity
or go on with the evening as though nothing had ever happened.
I decided on the latter and am very grateful for that decision.
In the car, I vented just a smidge, okay maybe a little more than a smidge...
I was frustrated and the very last thing I was thinking was anything of a positive, uplifting nature.
So how does it happen,
that during moments of desperation,
the Spirit can just touch our hearts and bring peace to us?
How is that through all of the hard things are happening around us,
the Spirit helps to point out to me all of the wonders that are right before my eyes on a daily basis?
How is it that before I know it,
I am standing to bear testimony to all present at this little fireside, of just how mindful my Savior is of me...
even though we have these struggles and these trials,
I know we will be okay,
we will make it through.
We are just that strong...
we have been through worse...
we have survived...
we will survive!
I walked away from an evening that could have brought me a restless night of turmoil had I chosen to focus on the difficult things at hand...but instead, through the examples of others and through the touching and promptings of the Spirit, I was able to come away feeling whole and strong and confident in the fact that ALL will be okay with our little family.
I have come to find that Some days are just hard...
But we have the power within ourselves to come out on top of the world,
IF we choose to.
I'm grateful for the sweet reminders that I received this beautiful night and hope that I can keep a good perspective and remember ~
Some days are just like that...and it really is okay...
You know, I think those young women would have really been surprised if you had "jumped up and down and had a little tissy fit,or roll around on the ground hitting my fists and stomping my feet down" I'm sure at first they would have been shocked, but pretty soon they would have been laughing and you would have been too. I love the talk from conference awhile back about just laughing when things get hard. But sometimes it takes jumping up and down or rolling around to get the laughter started. :)
ReplyDelete