Homeschool Conference!!!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Begging and Pleading

I just have to share my Happy Dance Moment with you!!!

As you may already know, I have a handful and a half of kids...BUT there are times that it feels like I actually have 10 handfuls of 'em!  This past couple of weeks that would definitely apply.

Our three teenagers (that sounds soooo strange)
3 teenagers...almost sounds a tad scary,
but they really aren't...
anyway ~
these 3 kids of ours were heading out to Wyoming for "Trek" for the better part of a week.  I have one in particular, a lovely boy, who REALLY, REALLY, REALLY did NOT want to have anything to do with Wyoming or a trek or a bus ride or, or, or...he would have chosen to do anything or be anywhere but "there"...much to his dismay, we sent him anyway.  He finally stopped begging me late the night before he was leaving, I think he finally gave up, it was a lost cause. 

Well, the begging and pleading and all just about did me in...I wondered if I was making the right choice by "FORCING" him to attend something he so desperately wanted nothing to do with.  But as I asked him his reasons WHY he didn't wish to go, nothing was truly sufficient to change my mind, so I did the only thing I knew how to do; I begged and pleaded behind closed doors.  I pleaded for his heart to be touched, to be softened, I begged for answers to help him see his place in this world and how he can make a difference...and then I waited...

This darling boy of mine is such a joy to me, he has always been kind and considerate and he has a smile just melts my heart!  He still gives me the BEST hugs ever...I was told many years ago to enjoy those hugs because once he hit the age of 12 they would a thing of the past...I am so grateful that the woman who said those words to me was WRONG!!!  This young man isn't quite 16, and he still likes his Momma, didn't end at 12, didn't even really change...well, as I think about it ~ it has changed, because I am no longer the one wrapping my Big arms around his little body,


he is now wrapping his BIG, STRONG arms around me
(my body is not so little, but you get the picture).

But there are some things that have changed...
He does have his own mind and he's not too afraid to use it (DARN!!!)
It was so much easier when they just did what you said,
because you said so;
when they become a little older that does change. 
But that's not necessarily a bad thing. 
It just tries your patience as a mother and it can put your faith to the test.

I have been watching this boy struggle with finding who he is and what he believes and what is of value to him and what he wishes to do with his life and which path he will choose to follow...there are times that I worry that I've not "given" him all that he may need, BUT I know that I have done my best.
When I look over at him in church with his head resting in his hands and catch his obstinate glance as he refuses to sing a hymn or try to recall a time when he shared anything he believes, I want to kick myself for not being a stronger example, for not always having FHE or Family Scripture time, but I just have to sit back and remember that I really have done my best, it wasn't THE BEST, but it has been my best. 

Well, as they prepared to go off on their Trek, I was also preparing letters for each of them.  These letters were to be given to them at some point along the way of their journey.  I knew that the words that I would share with this boy of mine, who was a little unhappy at the thought of being there, would have to be words that would make a difference. 
He has always needed to know the REASON WHY we do things, whatever it may be, anything from chores to schoolwork to reading to singing a song or digging a trench to rebuilding an engine or washing the dishes or planting a garden..."WHY" is imperative for him. 
Sooooo, my challenge was to share with him why I believed he was meant to be there this week. 

Ready for my HAPPY DANCE MOMENT???

After reading the letter I wrote to him,
this sweet son of mine walked up and STOOD IN LINE,
YES,
he stood in a long line of kids
as they waited to bear their testimonies in a Stake Testimony Meeting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
If this doesn't sound like anything too amazing to you, I guess you can sit down and not do a happy dance, but I'm shaking it for all I got at this point!!! 
I have never had the privilege of hearing my son bear his testimony, short of a single line in our own little Family Home Evening setting, and even then it was kinda like pulling teeth to get him to speak...so to hear of him volunteering to bear his testimony and then to stand in a line and then to speak in front of over 300 people sharing thoughts he had from the letter I sent for him and making sure to let everyone there know how very much he DID NOT want to be there with them, but that that feeling had changed for him.  That he wanted to be the kind of person that just one other person in the world could look up to and that he was grateful he had been there that week with them. 
Are you happy dancing yet?

Well, our daughter who was there with her brothers, told me of the experience.  She said she did a double take when she saw him standing in line and then a triple take because she was certain that couldn't have been him...as she told me of the words he shared and of the reason she knew she was there (to hear her two brothers bear testimony of what they feel and believe) I was so filled and so grateful and so thankful.  The begging and the pleading that I did behind closed doors did not go unnoticed by my Heavenly Father...my kids were all strengthened by their experience and I, in turn, am strengthened.

Now I'm happy dancing and my eyes are leaking...