Homeschool Conference!!!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Look at all those beautiful little feet two people can create!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Many Hats...

First I will start out with a statement...
I love my life and ALL the many things I do...
but there are times when I wonder IF i can really do it all...

Maybe more importantly, can I do it all well? 
Can I give 100% to all the different areas of my world? 
This, I am finding is not the case and I DO NOT LIKE IT! 
I don't like to give a little here and a little there. 
It feels as though I am "cheating" if I'm not giving it my all.

So...with the many hats we wear on a weekly if not a daily basis...what are we to do?

Since this is my blog, I'm gonna just throw out all the hats I switch about wearing each day...
If you've ever seen the book
Caps for Sale,
this is how I picture myself ~

The one exception, I can't recall the last time I was able to sit down beneath a tree and catch a little snooze...BUT check out the hats...I'm pretty sure I could take him on...I'm thinking I'm sportin' around a great many more hats than this little guy!

Anyway ~ the point being (give me a moment....aaauuugggghhhhh!)  okay, the point is HOW on earth am I to do all the things required at my hand AND do them well?

Wishing I had a visual for all of these hats...but the list will just have to suffice ~
*Mom,
*Wife,
*Grammy,
*Daughter,
*Sister,
*Friend,
*Teacher,
*Business Owner & Scheduler & Collections & Accounts Payable & Accounts Receiveable & Marketing Specialist & Networking Person...
Oh my, this business stuff is a BIG ONE!
*Young Women's Leader & Mentor,
*Cook (maybe I should go with CHEF, that sounds a little more official!),
*President of Homeschool Group,
*Maid or Master Delegator (preferably the delegator!),

I'm just gonna stop there cause we all know this list might never end if I put ALL the things that entail running a household...

So...my dilemna right now is that I feel that I am falling short in so many areas...and not a single one of these things can I take away (nor do I wish to take them away)...REMEMBER I said in the beginning of this post that I love my life, I really do like all the things I do AND I feel that they are important and very worthwhile. 

The word that comes to me is SIMPLIFY...

How does one simplify when there isn't anything to simplify to make the equation any smaller...I have actually taken away all that I can, there is simply nothing left to take away.  I can't take away being a mom or a wife, we must run our business, homeschooling is our life and I'm not willing to ever let that one go, my callings are important and I love the girls I work with, running our household is a must, I love my friends and actually wish to see them more (this is one area that suffers greatly!)  Another area that suffers greatly is being a Grammy (I can't even go here because it tears me apart, let's just say that I am not the Grammy I dreamed I'd be)  Cooking and laundry and all that goes with running this household have looked better in the past, I'm still thinking it would be nice if we could come up with disposable clothing and who needs to eat?  Let's just do away with that one (and I love to cook, so this is a big one to throw away) 

Okay...

There are a few areas that I feel very happy about at this time...
Homeschooling is going great...my kids are happy, they are learning well, the areas that weren't coming together as I wanted them to are now looking just peachy!  I feel like I'm on top of all the schooling part of my world ~ Whew!

My Business World stuff is going well...I've taken on some serious new roles in this part of life.  Early this summer, Chad and I decided it was time to make some changes to our business ~ we need to get to a point that we can say we run our business rather than our business runs us.  This is far in the future for us at this point, BUT we are working toward our goals.  I spend a far greater deal of time working to improve our business than I ever have in the past ~ marketing and networking and such...It's good...takes me out of my comfort zone at times, but a little stretching is good!  And if in the end our business thrives, it will have been worth all of the effort and time.  I do enjoy this time (as long as I don't think about my kiddos that I am leaving for those few hours a week...I enjoy talking with others about how they market & successfully run their businesses and it's easy for me to talk my hubby up!  I truly believe he is the most amazing, hard-working man alive and that he can make a floor sparkle and a carpet shine like none other, so he is easy to sell.

I love my calling in Young Women's...I love working with the girls...I love the Personal Progress program, I don't necessarily love how busy it is, but it is what it is and I do the best I can.

I truly love serving homeschooling mothers and families and feel that I am supposed to be serving in the Homeschool Organization.  I take this one very seriously and LOVE my time here.  It inspires me and makes me feel alive, so I know that it is right.

Running our household is a challenge...I honestly feel that no matter how much time and effort I put into organizing and delegating and planning and cooking and cleaning and washing and, and, and....it just never ends.  I'm pretty sure I should be thankful that it doesn't end, so I'm gonna just go with that thought.  What else is a Momma to do???

Now we'll get into the Wife, Grammy, Sister, Daughter, Friend side of things...
Oh this is a tough one! 
I'm feeling my eyes wellin' up...

Start with my wife job ~ all I can say is that I am very blessed to have such an understanding husband...he "gets" me, he knows what makes me tick and he sits by and watches me do all of the things I do and only when necessary does he come in to save me from myself.  I know that he deserves a wife that is more attentive and less busy, but I also know that he is aware that he means the world to me...so thankfully we are good.

Grammy/Mommy job...This may be one of my hardest areas...I wanted to be the kind of Grammy who would just go over and pick up her grandbabies and spend all the time in the world with them.  What I didn't think through was the fact that I was just finishing up having my babies when one of my babies decided she wanted to have her own babies...So, all I can hope for is that these little people and their Momma will know how much I adore and treasure them even though I am not "The Grammy" I had dreamed I'd be.

Sister/Daughter...Another toughie!  Just a couple of days ago, I was driving with my 4 youngest kiddos picking up stuff to make our Solar System.  My son, Bryce asked me an interesting question, "Mom, if you could see ANYONE in the world that is alive right now, who would you pick?"  My instant reaction and reply was astonishing to him, "I would see my Mom."  He just looked at me and said, "Mom, you can see ANYONE in THE WHOLE WORLD"  I replied, "Yep, I'd see my mom."  At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to talk to my mom, so I grabbed my phone and dialed her work number and told her of our conversation...I made her day.  The reason this one is such a toughie for me is that I rarely see or talk to my mom or my sister and they both live only 30-45 minutes away from me...WHY does life have to be so full that we can't see the people we love more???

Okay, one more...man, I need some tissue!
Friend...I really do try to be a wonderful friend.  BUT it seems that I am forever letting someone down.  I hear the comment often that I'm just too busy...that's a hard one to swallow.  How do I reply?  How do I say something that comforts them and lets them know how deeply important they are in my world?  YES, I am really busy, my life is way too full most of the time, but it is never to full to be a friend.  And yet, as I say that, it seems that many feel that I cannot be a true friend. 

Well...I'm going to go back to something I've had to remind myself of over the past few months when I feel like I do at this moment...

I am enough...


I have to be enough
because I can only do what I can do and I simply cannot do anymore.

I just pray it is enough for those that I love and that they will know my heart is 100% with them even during the moments that I'm wearing another of my many hats.