I take it back!!!!

If you'll remember back a post or two or ten???  I mentioned something about doing one brave thing a day...

Well...that may have been one of my BIGGEST mistakes ever...It might not sound that major to suggest doing one little brave thing a day...I thought it sounded pretty okay, quite inspired, fairly do-able, maybe even a tad bit exciting.

Looking back on what I thought...I guess I'd have to say how naive I really was or really am.
I've come to find out that being Brave is NOT exciting, it's not so do-able and honestly most of the time it really isn't very okay.

I have had more than my fair share of opportunities since my posting to try out being Brave.
I'm not so good at it!
I think I have to say that I'm not a big fan of being brave.  It's really hard.  It's really scary.  It's really more than what I wish to be doing day in and day out.

I quite think I prefer being not so brave...
What was I thinking???

Why didn't I come up with some amazing New Years resolution that went something like:

Try smiling at least once a day...
or say one kind thing to another person every day and mean it...
or keep my bedroom clean
or do at least 3 loads or wash a day
or bake bread for my family and never buy another loaf from the store again
or climb to the top of Mount Everest
or jump out of an airplane one time...

BUT NO...I decided to put it out there that each and every day I would do some brave thing...

OH MY GOSH...I take it back, I don't want to be brave...at least not every day...some days I want to be afraid and I want it to be okay to be afraid, some days I want to shrink from what faces me and I want that to be okay, too...  I want all these big, hard, scary things to take a little break, maybe go on an extended vacation and give me a moment to take a break, take a breath, feel like my heart has gone on a vacation...

I'm pretty certain that life isn't going to just give me this break, hard things will always face me...that's part of life, right?  At least that's what I've been told  (I wish I would have covered my ears and started singing lalalalalalalala) but I didn't, I heard it, I know and now I just have to take one day at a time.

I can be brave, but I also know I can choose to not be so brave on the days that it's just not there and it is okay.  I will be okay.  Our kids will be okay.  Life is changing, but it will be okay.

Home is where our family is...
Our family can make it through anything...
We are Strong...
We will survive...
We will come out on top...
We will shine...
We can do brave things!

I just REALLY, REALLY, really hope we don't have to do brave things every day, maybe just every now and then.  I think we need a time to be bored and sit around twiddlin' our thumbs and counting the fibers in the area rugs...I'm ready for that...and who knows after a day or two of that I may be ready to take on a brave thing a day again.  ???